Not a whole lot of individuals realize that ego and self-respect are two connected components of every human being that regardless of having parallel definitions, have a certain amount of difference which makes it tough for us to figure out just which is which. There’s a lot of talk about “self-respect,” how to have it, what it is, what it means. However, what passes for self-respect is often merely ego. First, let’s get a little clarity on what healthy self-esteem is. It is a balanced and unexaggerated self-respect and self-love.
Ego, on the other hand, always believes in its self-importance above the importance of others. Ego always requires outside approval, validation, and constant attention and gratification. Ego believes in its superiority above all others. Ego is the main and the most appropriate reason for the downfall in the family relations. A person mostly develops high-level ego by success and achievement in the professional life, however, set a mind to want same self-importance in the family life, but obviously, this not happens. Family life needs your dedication and support rather than your ego because it is the most significant obstacle in the quality of family relations. If we lessen our self-importance, superiority, pride, and self-interest for our worthy family relations, then it will naturally strengthen our bounds in the family relations.
Here are some ways to recognize ego and distinguish it from self-respect:
- It’s ego when we are condescending, rude or disrespectful of the wait staff, retail clerks, parking valets, or any other people we imagine is “less important” than us. Those with healthy self-esteem are respectful to all they come into contact with.
- It’s ego when we become easily agitated and try to manipulate others, get our way, or attempt to communicate our supposed superiority. Those with healthy self-esteem have healthy boundaries and desire to communicate respectfully and non-manipulatively.
- When we are expressing ego, we spectacularly lack in compassion. We try expressing our emotions or judgment in a harsh manner that even hurts other people around us. When we are expressing healthy self-respect, we can be compassionate without being co-dependent. We should try to understand the viewpoints of others and have a genuine interest in them.
- When we are egotistical, we believe we know everything about everything, and we start imposing our views upon others, which is completely wrong. If you wish to attain a healthy self-respect from other, it is important to hear the opinions of others.
- When we get egoistic, we pay the least attention to other people around us or their demands. We single-mindedly expect everyone to share our interests, but don’t reciprocate. When we have healthy self-esteem, we are curious about the interests of others. Even if we don’t want to share the interest, we want to share their delight in their interest.
- Impatience is one of the common sign of an egoistic person, and it derives from feeling self-important and that the world owes us attention (or priority) whenever we want it. Sometimes our impatience is the result of our failures such as not leaving in enough time to get somewhere and being highly impatient in traffic. When we’re coming from healthy self-esteem, we have highly developed patience, and we live our life strategically enough that we don’t waste our time in situations that require extreme patience.
One must not get confused between ego and self-respect. Ego is just an illusion, but self-esteem is essential. There is a thin line between self-respect and ego which should not be crossed. It is difficult but not impossible. When we start realizing that our ego is the one that is responsible for our miseries, then it will start disappearing itself. The only way to have our egos in control is to realize that there are many above us and our egos can never be so great that we become its servants.
Ego is like the spider’s web which the spider builds himself, but ultimately it leads to his death. Our ego is our creation, and when we come out of the clutches of ego we will realize and mock at the fact that we were the creators of our misery think with an open mind then there is no looking back. Hence it is never late to realize that we have to shun our egos and start believing our hearts, as our heart will lead us to the happiness we desire and not our egos.